


Obscure Truths

by enchantedlightningwrites



Series: Enchant's Sambucky Bingo 2k19 Fics [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Car rides, Fluff, M/M, Sambucky Bingo 2019, Sleepy confession, how to write GOOD angst??, i think it could be classified as angst, protect sam wilson from stres 2k4ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 22:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23001253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantedlightningwrites/pseuds/enchantedlightningwrites
Summary: Sam and Bucky parked a car, sharing silences and give each other company.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Series: Enchant's Sambucky Bingo 2k19 Fics [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690249
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55
Collections: Sambucky Bingo





	Obscure Truths

**Author's Note:**

> This fic fills the square: Sleepy Confession. It's not as light or cheerful like my other fics, and I wanted to do a different take of them.

"You're in a **car** with a beautiful **boy** , and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you." - Richard Siken

****

The waves of the ocean, just a few miles away, splashed over the sandy coastline of the shore. In the ink night sky, the light of the moon cast shadows over the cars. A cluster of stars glittered across the wide expanse.

A deep blue car parked beside the boardwalk, and the people inside, shifted in the front. He pulled back the brakes, and dropped his hands. He pressed his forehead against the centre of the steering wheel, slightly tilting his head. Bucky yawned, pushing his seat back.

Sam couldn’t take what had happened, this morning, and had a very shitty day. From failing to track Zemo to the soldiers getting kidnapped in an alarming rate, his calm and steadfast confidence slowly crumbled.

He almost lost it, when General Ross tried getting involved in his missions. While Kam did a great job at convincing him to f**k off in a super polite way, Sam had felt powerless. He hadn’t say anything, his throat dried and his mind poisoned with resentment. Powerless.

Almost powerless as the day, when Riley...

He had sulked in his room then outside, when he practiced tossing and throwing the shield, and jogging down New Orleans to get under control.

And then Bucky saw how he had been acting:

_“Sam?” Bucky asked, his voice low with hesitance. “You okay?”_

_Sam panted, dropping the shield in the front porch. “No. It’s been a pretty hard day.”_

_Bucky compressed his mouth into a grimace._

_“I can tell. Anyways, you wanna go for a car ride?”_

_Disbelief made Sam, snapped his head upwards. Sympathy glimmered in his frost blue eyes, only to be flicked away with blankness._

_Maybe a car ride would be the right trick for a stress reliever._

_He sighed, with a curt nod._

_“Sure. I guess, a sightseeing trip wouldn’t hurt.”_

The muffled breathing pulled Sam out of the maze of memories. Bucky wrapped his arms around his own waist, his head resting against the upper cushion of the seat. Sam’s lips tugged in the corners in a small smile.

He and Bucky didn’t talk much, except whenever they saw a particular area. They talked about how they could visit it, some other time.

And, if anything, Bucky had been reticent. And very respectful, so he wasn’t bothered by him.

Last year, he had refused to move when Bucky asked him to. And now, there were two people in this car, he found it weirdly intimate.

There had been rides with Sharon, with Kam, and few other people, and it usually rescued Sam from a lot of awkward alone times with Bucky. However, after three rides with just the two of them, he grew comfortable with it.

After moving in here, Sam didn’t think that his life would be more tense than in D.C. Maybe being passed on the mantle changed a lot about his life. With sleepless nights , when his brain, which ran like a broken record non-stop, with the so many question _s._ On of them were: _Am I really good enough for this?_

_Am I the right guy?_

_What if I don’t embody the ideals, he did?_

_What if I fail?_

It resulted in him, getting out of the bed with a heavy heart, threatening to fall like lead. Trembling hands, quaking breath, and racing mind that would be, temporarily, alleviated with the splash of water from the sink.

There were some days, where he could deal with the pressure. In those days, he saved the day with confidence, supporting his very being and bones.

His relationships with everyone had changed in so many ways. Sharon paid him a great amount of respect, like a leader, and showed loyalty as a true friend. She helped him and Bucky, through her back-up plans and equipment.

He didn’t expect a great ally in here, but appreciated it, anyway.

And Bucky... so much had changed between them, too.

Some would say, they weren’t really _just_ friends. Some would say, they were just that.

Sam thought that they were amazing partners and budding friends. Even with questionable moments, such as a brushing of each other’s hands or forehead, he considered them as friends.

If they weren’t, he would have been very stupid.

Bucky always kept to himself, but he had spent time with Sam, talking about his past. Sometimes with sorrow, with amusement, or with fondness. Sam loved listening to him, and in turn, shared about his past.

About Riley, his first pet bird, his days in the military, college, and treasured moments with his family and those he cared about.

He didn’t think he could get this close to anyone, while still keeping a distance.

And Sam felt sure, what he felt for Bucky, wasn’t exactly only platonic. His mind often supplied him with daydreams, full of romantic nights, cozy mornings, and a heart filled with tenderness. And endless hours full of healing.

Sam lightly patted Bucky’s shoulder. And he stirred, shifting in his seat.

His lids snapped open, then his hand fell on the brakes. He seemed fully awake, and he blinked, probably struggling to wake up.

“You there, Sam?” Bucky asked, his voice a low rasp. He cracked an eye, fully open.

Sam cleared the dryness in his throat. “Yeah. I’m still up.”

“Pretty shitty day, huh?” Bucky chuckled, sounding humorless.

“Apparently,” Sam replied, shaking his head. “I knew being Cap would be hard, but not like this. This is nuts, and I feel like I can’t catch up.”

Silence was hanging between them, as they lost themselves in their own contemplation. Sometimes, Sam found a Bucky a mystery, even if they had been around each other for months.

“I kinda know what you mean,” Bucky said, averting his eyes in the front window. The silence fell apart. “After being under _their_ control for so long, I haven’t caught up with how the world has changed.”

Sam nodded, biting his lower lip.

“Uh huh. Time flies off without you, and things change under the blink of an eye.”

“And cars that can take you to the sky aren’t invented yet.”

The weird comment out of no where, got Sam to crinkle his forehead. He made a face briefly, eventually laughing.

“Is that what you wanted? We got other air mobiles , which would suit you. Remember that chopper, we had a ride on, one time?”

Bucky’s expression crumpled into a frown.

“Still. I would prefer driving my car through the air. Unless, birds get in the way. In that case, a flying, cloaked car would be nice.”

Despite his desolated times with HYDRA, Sam had been surprised to discover that Bucky could have a sense of humor. Charming, slightly morbid, and dry. If they weren’t bantering, they would make terrible jokes and puns, they would only laugh at.

No one else would get the jokes.

Sam yawned, his body weakening with exhaustion. He relaxed and settled into his seat, pushing the chair back.

“I love you, Buck,” Sam mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut. “Love. You.”

Until he almost passed out, his system kicked up with full awareness. Three little words echoed in the haze of his sleepy mind, which only turned less sleepier and more alert.

Sam opened his eyes, riveting it at Bucky.

The words seemed sent a jarring sensation through him. Sam’s heart pumped up blood into his cold veins. Bucky stared at him, his lips parting and his tired, blue eyes going huge. F**k, he might have made a mistake.

Although, he felt too sleepy to care. But awake enough to.

He took a deep breath, trying to remove the tension from his heart. Even if Sam found Bucky, difficult at times, it didn’t mean that he didn’t love him.

Some sleepless nights were spent on wondering, if Bucky felt the same.

“Sam, I...” Bucky swallowed, tearing his head from him. “You can’t be serious.”

The haunted gleam in his expression twisted his heart. He wanted the _both_ of them to get the happiness, they truly deserved. Without reservations or obligations.

“Never mind,” Sam said, softly. He forced out a hollow chuckle. “I don’t know, what was I thinking.”

But he knew what did he _felt_.

They shared certain insecurities, and tried helping each other to sort it out. They weren’t there to the destination to recovery, however, they were still somewhere.

Maybe this wasn’t the right time for a confession. Being Cap had to be first, and romance can come later.

Maybe Bucky would forget about this dumb thing, and they would be able to not let it ruin... whatever, they were now.

Whatever this was– friendship, love, or trust– can happen in another time.

And honestly, he could wait.

“But do you really mean it?” Bucky asked, his small voice brimming with hope.

“Yes, I do,” Sam answered, with no hesitation. “I care about you, Buck, so how could I not love you?”

Bucky’s lips tilted into a shy smile, as he huffed out a chuckle.

“You mean a lot to me, too.”

“C’mon, let’s just sleep.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes. “And wake up to the morning sea.”

He didn’t get any quick response. Sam almost tried getting up, yet, just as:

“I like the sound of that,” Bucky replied, softly. And that was the last words, he had heard, before tumbling heavy into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could finish a fic, without these two always falling asleep by the last sentence. (it's a recurring theme, I'm sure some of you noticed). If you want, you can ramble with me on tumblr, @enchanted-lightning-aes.


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